


Revenge Against Captain Cockblock

by hawksonfire



Series: Captain Cockblock [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Bucky and Clint are Little Shits, Bucky and Clint are mean to Steve, Bucky and Clint are petty motherfuckers, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Feels, Deaf Clint Barton, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Humor, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) is a Good Bro, M/M, Minor Pepper Potts - Freeform, Not Canon Compliant, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Clint Barton, POV Sam Wilson, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Sexual Frustration, Smut, Sneaky Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Top Bucky Barnes, minor Natasha Romanov, poor steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 04:51:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18161684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawksonfire/pseuds/hawksonfire
Summary: Clint and Bucky have finally managed to get around Captain Cockblock and admit that they love each other. So of course, they must get their revenge.





	Revenge Against Captain Cockblock

**Author's Note:**

> Sort of written for Clint Barton Bingo O2: Revenge.
> 
> So this has been in the works for a while, and I finally got around to finishing it. Thanks to my amazing beta, @HelenaMadsox for putting up with my month-long absence and sticking around to see this thing to the end. Hope you enjoy!

**Clint**

Clint was happy. He had a handsome boyfriend who loved him, a best friend who only wanted to kill him half the time, a dog he adored… Yeah. Clint was happy. Most mornings, he woke up curled into Bucky with Lucky pressed to his back. Bucky would bring him coffee, made just the way he liked it, and they would cuddle until Clint was awake enough to fully appreciate the half-naked (or fully naked) man that was in his bed.

 

“Sweetheart, you gotta get up,” Bucky mumbled into his neck, “There’s a briefing in fifteen minutes, and you gotta be wearing clothes.” The movement of Bucky’s mouth on his neck was doing interesting things to Clint’s body, and Clint was intrigued. 

 

Clint groaned and shook his head, squishing himself into the place between Bucky’s arm and his chest. 

 

“You gotta, sweetheart. You said you wanted Tony to take a look at your aids, right? Said they’d been bothering you?” As if on cue, the aid in Clint’s right ear - the only one he had in to hear Bucky - gave a high-pitched squeal and he jerked so hard he fell off the bed in a tangle of blankets. Bucky’s head poked over the side of the bed grinning. “Well, you’re out of bed now.” Clint flipped him off and used the bed to pull himself up. His face comes within kissing distance of Bucky and he grins, leaning in and leaving a soft kiss on Bucky’s lips, pulling away with a nibble. 

 

“Showertime, babes,” Clint says, walking backwards to the bathroom. He throws some finger guns at Bucky and then trips over a pile of clothes he’s been meaning to clean up for at least a week now. Bucky howls with laughter, shaking on the bed, and Clint grimaces, shaking his head as he walks into the bathroom. 

 

Putting his aid on the counter and dropping his clothes on the floor, he turns on the shower and steps under the hot water, tilting his head forwards. The water is just this side of too hot, stinging in the best possible way and soothing Clint’s various aches and pains. Clint’s been under the water for a few minutes, just standing there and enjoying the heat, when a pair of hands wrap around his waist from behind.

 

Clint jolts and nearly falls on his ass, but Bucky holds him up and stays still until Clint’s heart has stopped racing. Bucky places a kiss where his shoulder meets his neck in apology and Clint puts his hand in Bucky’s hair. No words are spoken, but the two of them have never really needed words. The two men finish their morning routine - including scrounging up Clint’s extra set of aids (that somehow ended up in the bottom of his dirty laundry pile wrapped in a pair of socks) - and the elevator ride down three floors in a comfortable silence. 

 

The first thing they do is head to Tony’s lab to see if he can fix Clint’s aids. “Legolas, Murderbot, what do you need?” Tony says cheerfully, his demeanour making it very obvious that he’s been awake for hours already.

“Clint’s aids are screwed, can you fix them?” Bucky says, holding out the aforementioned aids.

 

Tony stares at him and Bucky is just about to ask again when he grabs them from Bucky’s hand and walks away, muttering to himself. “Can I fix it, what kind of garbage question is that, can I fix it. I’m offended, really. J, make a note that I’m offended.”

 

“Noted, Sir.” The AI sighs. “Is there anything you or Agent Barton need, Sergeant Barnes?”

 

Bucky snickers at the pleading note in JARVIS’ voice. “Nah, J, we’re good, thanks.” Bucky and Clint race each other to the briefing room, throwing themselves into chairs when they arrive and grab each other’s hands under the table. After a couple minutes of waiting, the two men start poking fun at each other, only stopping when Nat walks into the room. “Alright, boys, who’s ready to get their revenge on?” She puts her laptop on the table and the three of them grin at each other and get started.

 

~~~~~~

 

Clint stretches as he walks out of the briefing room, smirking to himself. “This is gonna be so fun! Aren’t you excited, Borky?” 

 

Bucky snorts. “You know I hate that.”

 

Clint drapes himself over Bucky’s shoulder, letting the super-soldier drag him along. “I know you love me, and the two cancel each other out, so therefore you don’t hate the name at all!” He tries to do a dance but forgets that he’s attached to Bucky, so all he really does is grind his pelvis into Bucky’s ass, making the other man grunt. 

 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, sweetheart,” Bucky purrs.

 

Clint whispers in Bucky’s ear, “Who said I wasn’t going to finish it?” He gives Bucky’s ear a little nibble and Bucky sucks in a breath. Clint laughs, dances out of the way of Bucky’s grabby hands and moves into the kitchen. Where he promptly slams into Steve’s back, knocking the man over and making him drop his oatmeal (seriously, Steve? Who eats oatmeal anymore?) down the front of his shirt.

 

“Clint, you human disaster!” Sam yells, leaping backwards to avoid oatmeal splatter. Steve blinks up at him from the floor.

 

“I’m sorry, I was trying to distract Borky with sex okay, it’s not my fault!” Clint yells back. He reaches down to help Steve up when a swat on his butt sends him flying into Steve and the two of them drop to the floor, landing in the pile of oatmeal. Sam swears, Bucky bursts into laughter, Clint pouts, and Steve just stares in disbelief at his ruined shirt and pants. 

 

“Sorry sweetheart, but you deserved that from what you pulled in the hallway,” Bucky says, his eyes glinting with mischief.

 

Clint opens his mouth to respond, but Steve holds up his hand. “I don’t even want to know.”  He gets up warily and backs out of the kitchen slowly, only turning his back on them when his whole body is out of the kitchen. 

 

“Why did I agree to come visit again?” Sam says, shaking his head as he clears his bowl. “Y’all are going to clean that up, right? Cause I sure as hell ain’t gonna do it.” He raises an eyebrow and Clint nods sheepishly, pasting a smile onto his face. Sam walks out of the kitchen, muttering about ‘white people and their oatmeal’. 

 

“Borky, help me up!” Clint whines, holding his hands up. 

 

“This is your own fault, sweetheart. You made this mess, you clean it up.” Bucky settles in and watches as Clint grumbles his way to the sink. When he's done, the two of them bicker all the way up to the apartment, only stopping once they shut the door behind them. 

 

They’re quiet for a few moments, and then Clint burst into laughter. “Did you see his face?” He wheezes, arms clutching his stomach. 

 

“Oh man, he was so upset! I genuinely thought he might cry!” Bucky says through his laughter. “Thanks for helping us with that one, J. You’re the bomb.” 

 

“It was my pleasure, Sergeant Barnes. I myself was getting rather tired of your near misses with Agent Barton, and Captain Rogers certainly wasn’t helping. This seems to be his well-earned comeuppance.” JARVIS says, sounding pleased.

 

Clint and Bucky, still laughing, head into their bedroom and fall down on the bed. Clint rolls on top of Bucky and wiggles around a little, only stopping when Bucky grabs his hips with a hiss. “I thought I told you not to start something you can’t finish.”

 

Clint leaned in close, kisses Bucky on the nose, and said, “And I thought I told you that I never said anything about not finishing it.” Bucky grins and rolls them over, ending up on top of Clint.

 

“You asked for it sweetheart,” He says, grinning. Clint smiles back and pulls off his shirt. Bucky pulls off his and Clint stares. Yeah. Clint is happy.

 

~~~~~~

 

**Bucky**

Bucky is still snickering about the oatmeal two hours later. The look on Steve’s face was priceless, and Bucky can’t wait to make it happen again. It’s no wonder Clint and Nat were SHIELD’s top agents for so long; they’re diabolical.

 

“No more thinking,” Clint mumbles, pressing kisses into his jawline.

 

Bucky grins. “‘M just thinking about what to do next, sweetheart.” Clint moves to his neck, kissing and nibbling and sucking  _ just a little.  _ “You know I love you, but it’s hard to think when you keep distracting me, Clint,” Bucky growls, flipping them over so he hovers over Clint. 

 

Clint grins. “That’s kinda the point, babe.” He pulls Bucky on top of him, grinding their dicks together. Bucky groans and Clint laughs breathlessly. “I believe I said something about no more thinking?” Bucky worms his hand in between their flush bodies and takes hold of Clint’s dick, sliding his thumb over the tip. Clint hisses.

 

“Now who’s not thinking?” Bucky whispers, hand moving up and down. He adds a little twist at the top and Clint loses it.

 

“Bucky, no teasing!” He whines, his hips jerking towards Bucky. 

 

Bucky stops. “You move, I move.” He says, and Clint groans and throws his head back.

 

“Fine, just go already, will you?” Clint growls. Bucky snickers and resumes his movements, albeit at a slower pace. Clint’s cock is hard as steel, leaking all over Bucky's hand. Bucky props himself up onto an elbow so he can see Clint’s face. 

 

“Bucky -” Clint cries out, body spasming as he comes all over Bucky’s hand. Bucky sucks in a breath as Clint’s eyes flutter and his mouth forms an ‘o’, back arching towards the ceiling. “Man, I am so glad you’re my boyfriend,” Clint says, rolling over and kissing Bucky thoroughly. 

 

Bucky smirks. “That makes two of us, sweetheart.” He jumps off the bed to get a towel, yelping when a swat to his ass startles him. Clint bursts into laughter as Bucky scowls. 

 

“Hey!” He says indignantly, “I do the only spanking around here!” Clint gasps and his eyes widen comically. He flips over and presents his (thoroughly debauched) ass to Bucky. 

 

“Whatcha waitin’ for, hmmm Borky?” He says, wiggling his ass in the air. Bucky strides over and lays a smack onto Clint’s ass, surprising a squeak out of him. Bucky snickers and walks away to get that towel. 

 

“Now who’s not finishing what they started?” Clint whines, pouting.

 

“Consequences, Clint,” Bucky says over his shoulder, “Learn them.” He comes back to the bed with a towel and cleans Clint up, smirking when Clint yelps as Bucky ‘accidentally’ ends up tickling him.

 

“Uncle, uncle!” Clint howls, twisting away from Bucky’s probing fingers. Bucky raises his arms in victory and then belly flops onto Clint’s stomach, breaking into laughter at Clint’s wheeze. The two men spend an hour or so play-fighting that then devolves into fucking, which then turns into them sleeping. Bucky wraps Clint in his arms and nuzzles the top of his head. 

 

“Love you, sweetheart,” He says, smiling softly when all he gets in response is a grunt and a press of Clint’s lips to his chest. 

 

~~~~~~

 

**Clint**

Clint is startled out of his slumber when Bucky pokes him awake to hear JARVIS say, “I apologize for waking you, gentlemen, but Captain Rogers and Airman First Class Wilson are heading to the movie room, and you did ask to be kept apprised of their whereabouts and any possible moments for your revenge.”

 

Bucky groans and pulls the covers over his head. Clint shakes his head to clear the cobwebs and shakes him. “C’mon, Borky, we gotta dish out some consequences!” Bucky groans again and rolls over. Clint rolls his eyes. “Fine.” Clint tries something else. “Get out of bed and help me cockblock Steve and Sam or no nookie for a week.” 

 

Bucky jumps out of bed and stands at attention in the middle of their room. He’s still half-asleep, only in his underwear, and his hair looks like he stuck his finger into an electrical socket. Clint laughs. And laughs. By the time he pulls himself together, Bucky is dressed and waiting at the door for him. “You comin’, sweetheart?” He says, raising an eyebrow.

 

Still snickering, Clint pulls on a pair of sweatpants and one of Bucky’s trademarked shirts and walks to the movie room leaning on Bucky. When they walk in, the lights are off and there’s no movie playing. Clint opens his mouth to ask JARVIS where Steve and Sam are, but Bucky puts his hand over his mouth and flicks the lights on. Steve’s head pops up from in front of the couch, hair thoroughly mussed. “Sorry, Stevie, were you takin’ a nap? Me and Clint just wanted to watch that new movie, you know, the one about the talking dog with the weird leg?” 

 

A groan sounds and Sam stands up, not wearing a shirt, and hickeys clearly visible down his chest. “Have at it, boys, not like we were doing anything.” He throws his hands up in the air and starts to leave, but Clint stops him. 

 

“Aw, c’mon, Sammy, stay and watch with us! You can stay too, Steve!” He turns his puppy dog eyes on - not many people know, but Clint’s puppy eyes can rival Steve’s.

 

Sam groans again and pulls on his shirt. “Fine. But only if you go get the popcorn.” Bucky smiles and leaves the room to grab snacks, so Clint plops himself down in the middle of the couch, right between Steve and Sam and just starts babbling. 

 

“Wow, you guys would not believe how well I slept! Turns out having your own personal heater does wonders for sleepytimes. Am I right, Sammy?” He elbows Sam in the ribs with a wink and keeps talking. “Plus, he’s so comfy! It’s like sleeping on the perfect pillow, exactly the right mix of firm and squishy! Man, I am so glad he likes being the big spoon.” He sighs dreamily and settles into the couch, grinning. He manages to keep babbling about his and Bucky’s sleeping positions until Bucky gets back with the snacks, at which point he just changes the topic to how well Bucky can cook.

 

Steve tries to interrupt him multiple times, but Clint just pretends he doesn’t hear him and keeps talking. “And his freakin’ grilled cheeses, man, I swear you’ve never tasted anything better!” 

 

Bucky slaps a hand over his mouth. “Sweetheart, shut up. Movie.” Clint giggles, kisses Bucky’s hand, and snuggles into his side to watch the movie. He can feel Steve’s death stare on the side of the face, and after a few minutes, he decides to do something about it. 

 

“Steve, bro.” He says, concerned. “Something wrong with the movie?” Steve shakes his head and continues staring. Clint shrugs and turns to face the screen again. After the movie, Clint gets up and stretches languidly. “That was a pretty good movie, right guys?” He looks earnestly in between Steve and Sam, letting his face fall when they just stare at him. “Fine, guess I was the only one that liked it.” He falls silent and collects the empty bowls, letting his face do the talking. After he leaves the room, he leans against the wall to wait for Bucky.

 

~~~~~~

 

**Bucky**

“Ow, Buck, what the hell was that for?” Steve complains, rubbing the back of his head. 

 

“You guys are idiots!” Bucky hisses, careful to keep his voice down. 

 

“What do you mean?” Steve says, looking confused. 

 

“I mean,” Bucky says, pinching the bridge of his nose, “That Clint just wanted to spend some time with you guys because he hardly ever sees you anymore, and you guys make him feel like shit for it! Could you be any more oblivious?” 

 

“Shit,” Sam says after a few seconds of silence. Steve just sits there, eyes wide.

 

“Yeah, shit,” Bucky says, disappointment clear on his face. “You’re supposed to be good at this, Wilson. And you’re supposed to be his friend, Steve, what the hell was with the death glare throughout the movie? Yes, I saw that.”

 

Steve gestures hopelessly. “It’s just - me and Sam were, well, uh -”

 

“We were gonna make out on the couch for a while and then you guys interrupted us,” Sam says bluntly. 

 

Bucky throws up his hands. “Well, gee! Sorry for wanting to spend time with our friends! And you know how oblivious Clint is, you really think he would’ve noticed?” Steve grimaces. Clint is actually one of the most observant people in the tower, and he definitely knows what hickeys look like, but they don’t need to know that. “Yeah, exactly. And now he’s gonna be in a bad mood for the rest of the day, so thanks for that.” Bucky stalks out of the room scowling, making his way over to Clint. “You okay, sweetheart?”

 

Clint winks at him, and then his voice goes wobbly. “I just wanted to spend some time with them, Buck. Steve’s always away on missions, and Sam only comes down from DC once a month! Plus, Nat’s on vacation and so is Bruce, and Thor’s off-world! It’s not that I don’t love hanging out with you, Bucky, but I miss my friends, you know?” He tucks himself into Bucky’s chest, and the two of them just stand there for a while, Bucky rubbing soothing circles into Clint’s back.

 

Bucky hears whispering in the movie room, so he pulls Clint away from him slightly. “You wanna go back to our room and cuddle, sweetheart?” Clint nods silently, and Bucky smiles. He turns around and Clint climbs onto his back, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s torso. They make their way back to their room in silence, and once they’re inside, Clint hops off of Bucky and starts laughing. 

 

“You think they bought it?” He asks, wandering over to the bed and flopping down. 

 

Bucky smirks. “J?” 

 

“They appear to have bought it, Sergeant Barnes. They have been whispering in the movie room furiously for the last few minutes, although I can’t tell you what about.” JARVIS says, sounding smug, and then apologetic.

 

“That’s okay, J. You’re still the bomb. Thanks for helping us out with this.” Clint says, smiling softly.

 

“Of course, Agent Barton. That’s what friends are for, right?”

 

If Bucky didn’t know any better, he would think the AI sounded insecure. Very careful to not make eye contact with Clint, he grins. “Course, J. And if there’s ever anything we can do for you, you let us know.”

 

“Of course, Sergeant Barnes.”

 

Clint wiggles his eyebrows at Bucky. “I believe I was promised cuddles, good sir.” Bucky grins and makes a flying leap onto the bed, landing directly on top of Clint with a grunt.

 

“Looks like we’re stuck in here for a couple hours, sweetheart,” Bucky says. “Whatever could we possibly do?”

 

Clint grins. “I could think of a few things.”

 

~~~~~~

 

After a couple (four) rounds of extremely pleasant sex, Bucky and Clint are dozing on their bed. Bucky is startled out of his slumber when someone knocks softly on the door. He stumbles to the door, blinking blearily. When he opens it, he’s met with silence. Sam is staring at him, eyes wide. Bucky blinks, then looks down. His chest is covered in hickies, bite marks, and scratches, that very clearly disappear past his underwear line and reappear on his legs. 

 

“Can I help you, Wilson?” He asks, brow arched.

 

“That’s a lot of marks, Barnes. Get in a fight with wolverine or something?” Sam jokes.

 

Bucky’s face goes blank. “Clint tends to get possessive when he’s upset. Is there something you needed?” 

 

Sam’s face falls. “Look, man,” Sam struggles, “We didn’t mean to make Clint feel bad, alright? It’s just been a while since me and Steve have seen each other, and there’s quite a bit of catching up to do, if you catch my meaning.” Bucky stays silent. “Fine. Look, me and Steve want to invite you and Clint out for lunch or something.”

 

“I’ll have to talk to Clint about it. He’s hurt, Sam. I know Steve heard what he said in the hallway.”

 

Sam winces. “Yeah, that wasn’t our finest moment. We’re sorry, alright? Like I said, it’s been awhile.”

 

Bucky makes a point of looking around the hallway, empty except for him and Sam. “I see.” Sam winces again. “I’ll talk to Clint and have JARVIS let you know.” Without waiting for a response, he shuts the door in Sam’s face, only feeling slightly guilty. He likes Wilson, he does, but Steve needs payback. Wilson’s collateral damage. 

 

“What did he want?” Clint’s voice speaks up, nearly making Bucky flinch.

 

“Invited us to lunch. Said, ‘we’re sorry’.” Bucky makes it clear that Sam was apologizing for both him and Steve.

 

“I’m thinking that we should probably make Steve apologize himself, separate from Sam,” Clint says, grinning. He walks over to Bucky and leans his forehead against Bucky’s sternum. 

 

“You diabolical man. Steve  _ hates _ talking about his feelings.” Bucky grins. “I love you, you know that?” He says, pulling Clint into a soft kiss.

 

Clint rolls his eyes playfully. “Yeah, you only tell me a couple hundred times an hour.” He moves to pull away, but Bucky tightens his hold.

 

“Because I mean it, sweetheart. More than I’ve ever meant anything.” He says seriously, looking into Clint’s eyes. 

 

Clint laughs uncomfortably and pulls away. Bucky lets him. “Love you too, babes. Was the lunch thing today?” 

 

It’s a clear topic change, but Bucky allows it. Raising an eyebrow lets Clint know that Bucky knows  _ exactly _ what he is doing, and is letting it happen. “Nah, tomorrow. You wanna go?” Clint nods. “Can you let them know that Clint wants to go to lunch with Steve, J?”

 

“Of course, gentlemen. Should I wait until they are otherwise occupied?” 

 

Bucky grins and Clint snickers. “You know J, sometimes I forget who your father is. And then you go and say something like that, and I’m reminded how fantastic it is.” 

 

“Yes, well. Like father, like son, I suppose.” JARVIS sounds proud.

 

~~~~~~

 

**Steve**

Steve’s brain is so full of lust that he can’t see straight. Sam’s hand is down his pants, his mouth is on his neck and Steve is just about to start begging when JARVIS interrupts. “Sorry to interrupt, gentlemen, but Agent Barton requests that Captain Rogers meet him in the lobby of the tower for lunch tomorrow.” 

 

Sam yelps and yanks his hand out of Steve’s pants like they’re on fire, and Steve pouts. “Yeah, alright JARVIS. Just Steve?” Sam says when Steve doesn’t reply. Steve is still trying to make his thoughts form words other than ‘Sam’ and ‘sex’.

 

JARVIS replies in the affirmative. “Thanks, J,” Sam says, making no move to resume his activities. Steve blinks silently at him, then crowds him against the wall and leans in to press his lips to Sam’s neck. “Really, Steve?” Sam laughs, pushing him away. “You’re still in the mood even after a reminder of what happened with Clint?” 

 

Steve backs away, all desire dissipating in moments. “You’re right as usual, Sam.” He trudges over to the couch and falls down, burying his head in his hands. “I just don’t get how I could be so obtuse!” He says, muffled, into his hands. 

 

“You didn’t mean any harm,” Sam soothes. Steve raises his head and looks at him. “Okay, you didn’t mean any serious harm.” Steve groans and lets his head fall back into his hands. Sam rubs his back. “Seriously, Steve, this is just a case of bad communication, alright? I’m sure once you apologize to Clint tomorrow everything will be fine.” Steve just groans again. “Fine.” Sam stops touching his back. “You’ll apologize and Clint will yell at you and you’ll probably spar and then you’ll feel better because apparently the only way a big lug like you understands feelings is if they’re beaten into you.” He sounds serious, but when Steve looks up at him, he’s smiling.

 

“I sure hope you’re right, Sam,” He says.

 

“Aren’t I always?”

 

~~~~~~

 

**Clint**

Clint was  _ so _ ready to fuck with Steve at lunch today. He was gonna play up the ‘I just wanted to hang out with you because I miss you’ card, and a couple other tricks he had up his sleeve might make an appearance. A smile crosses Clint’s face. He bounces on his heels as he waits for Steve in the lobby. Catching sight of the tall blonde man approaching, Clint forces himself to stop bouncing and looks apprehensive. 

 

“Hey, Clint!” Steve says, “Ready for lunch?” 

 

Clint goe to punch him on the shoulder but pulls his fist back at the last minute. “Only if you are, buddy!” He forces a smile onto his face. 

 

Steve’s face falls a little bit and then something flashes across his face. “So, where are we going? Sam mentioned that you wanted to talk to me about something?” He slings his arm around Clint’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah! Me and Bucky discovered this adorable little Spanish place a while back. We’ve been meaning to invite you guys but you always seem to be on a mission or something. No worries, though, you’re here now!” He pastes a sad little smile on his face, continuing to babble on about this restaurant and how good the food is. He actually forgets that he’s supposed to be making Steve feel guilty, and gets really into his explanation of the restaurant.

 

“It sounds really great, Clint. I’m glad we’re doing this,” Steve says gently, like he’s afraid Clint might startle and run away like a frightened rabbit. Which,  _ rude _ . But also, fair.

 

“Yeah, me too Steve,” Clint says, a hesitant smile on his face. They arrive at the restaurant and grab a table, only to be approached by an elderly Spanish lady holding a wooden spoon. 

 

<”Clint! Where have you been?”> She says, crossing her arms. 

 

<”I’ve been busy, Rosa!”> Clint says apologetically.

 

<”Too busy for my food, eh?”> She taps the back of his hand with the spoon. <”You had us worried, mijo,”> She says. 

 

<”Sorry, Rosa,” Clint says, hanging his head. He is well aware of Steve staring at him, eyes flicking in between him and Rosa. <”This is Steve,”> He says, gesturing in Steve’s direction.

 

Rosa looks at him, unimpressed. <” _ The _ Steve?”> Clint nods. <”Does he speak Spanish?”> Clint shakes his head. <”Shame, he’s nice to look at,”> she says. 

 

Clint chokes, and Steve frowns. “What did she say?” He asks, a worried look on his face. 

 

“She thinks you’re handsome,” Clint says, struggling to get the words out. 

 

The tips of Steve’s ears turn pink. “Can you tell her I think she’s very beautiful too?”

 

Clint waves a hand. “Yeah, as soon as I can breathe again, I’ll get right on that.” Rosa and Steve watch him impassively while he catches his breath. <”Rosa, Steve says you’re very beautiful.”>

 

Rosa clucks her tongue. <”Of course I am,”> She winks at Clint and walks away, saying over her shoulder, <”I’ll be back with your food.”>

 

Clint shakes his head. “She’s coming back with our food,” he says when he sees a look of confusion pass Steve’s face. 

 

“But we didn’t order anything!”

 

“Rosa has been running this place since she was 24, Steve. Trust me, she knows what you want better than you do.” Clint leans back in his chair until only two legs are touching the ground. “What?” Clint raises an eyebrow at Steve’s blatant staring.

 

“Bucky does the same thing sometimes, I don’t even think he’s aware of it,” Steve says wistfully. 

 

“It’s a sniper thing,” Clint says. They fall into an uneasy silence - purposefully, on Clint’s side at least - until Rosa brings their food. 

 

<”Eat, eat!”> She says, gesturing at the food. They thank her and she walks away, already berating a waitress for spilling some water.

 

Clint shovels the food into his mouth, barely holding back an indecent moan. Steve snickers at him and Clint adopts a wounded look. “I’m hurt, Steve, hurt. You can’t laugh at me.”

 

Steve just snickers louder and Clint pouts. “‘M sorry, Clint. It’s just that you’re usually so laid back so seeing you actually be into something for once is amusing.” Clint sees his opening. 

 

Letting his shoulders slump, he directs his attention to just past Steve’s left ear. “I was into hanging out with you and Sam and Bucky for movie night.” 

 

Steve’s face falls. “I really am sorry about that, Clint. But you’re with Bucky, you know how our libido’s get.” Clint chokes on his food. 

 

“I most certainly do not know how your libido’s get, Steven. For your information, Bucky hasn’t done much more than kiss me.” Steve blinks.

 

“Really? He must be pent up like crazy then, Lord knows I would be if I didn’t -” 

 

Clint holds up a hand, eyes pleading. “Please, no more. I can’t handle hearing about your sex life,” He begs, hands clasped in front of him. 

 

Steve lets out a chuckle and holds up his hands placatingly. “Alright, alright. No more.” The remainder of their meal passes with Clint teasing Steve and Steve threatening to go into excruciating detail about his and Sam’s sex life. By the time they pay and leave, Steve is doubled over with laughter listening to the story about how Bucky once walked around the tower for a whole day with a shirt that said ‘I’m a sleepy wittle kitty’ and didn’t notice until Clint pointed it out, at which point he ripped it off and walked around shirtless for the next three hours in protest. 

 

Clint sighs dreamily. “That was a good day.” Steve nudges him, catapulting him out of thoughts of Bucky’s well-sculpted chest and arms and nearly making him trip over his own two feet. 

 

“I thought you guys said you hadn’t gone further than kissing?” Steve raises an eyebrow at Clint.

 

“We haven’t!” Clint lies through his teeth. “But a guy can dream right?” Steve snickers. “C’mon Steven, we gotta get back to the tower for movie night. You gonna actually watch the movie this time and not give me a death stare the whole time?” Steve winces and starts to apologize again but Clint waves him off. “I’m joking, I’m over it, I promise.” 

 

Steve slugs him in the shoulder and Clint yelps in pain. “Shit, sorry Clint!” Steve cries. 

 

“No worries, man,” Clint says, rubbing the spot where Steve hit him. Steve’s fist had landed right on top of one of the bite marks Bucky had left on Clint, but Steve doesn’t need to know that. “Seriously, dude, I’m fine. Quit your mothering!” Clint punches Steve back, laughing as he dances out of the way when Steve grabs for him. “Race you back!” Clint yells, taking off down the street. If Steve responds, his words are lost as Clint tears around the corner into an alley and climbs up the drain pipe. 

 

It takes Clint twelve minutes to make it back to the tower and when he skids to a stop in front of the doors to see Steve leaning against a wall inside - not even out of breath, the fucker - he throws his hands up into the air, collapses onto the floor and curses, making Steve burst into laughter. “Never challenge a super-soldier to a footrace, J,” Clint says, gasping for breath.

 

“Indeed, Agent Barton,” The AI replies. “That will not be an issue.”

 

~~~~~~

 

**Bucky**

Bucky knew today was ‘Fuck with Steve at lunch’ day, so he purposefully didn’t make plans with anyone in case it all went terribly wrong and he needed to rescue Clint from Steve, or vice versa. 

 

Bucky was enjoying his planlessness with some pantslessness. He wandered around their apartment with one of CIint’s hoodies on, and since the man was a full 6 inches taller than him - and no, Bucky was not still grumpy about that, thank you very much - the sleeves were too long and it came down to the middle of his thighs, but Bucky loved it. He flops over onto their couch and wiggles until his head is hanging off the bottom and his legs are dangling over the top.

 

A knock on the door makes him blink, and he looks at his body, naked other than a pair of briefs and Clint’s sweater. He thinks about it, then he shrugs. “J, door?”

 

“Airman First Class Wilson is outside, Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS says, the door opening with a click. 

 

“Barnes!” Sam cries, storming inside. He stops dead when he sees Bucky’s feet at the top of the couch. “Man, what the fuck are you doing?”

 

“Enjoying my day off.” Bucky doesn’t change his position.

 

“Whatever,” Sam says, “Look, man, I don’t know what it is but you and Clint are up to something and it needs to stop.”

 

Bucky blinks twice then sits up. “What are you talking about?” He says, confused. 

 

“Whatever the fuck you and Clint have planned for Steve,” Sam says slowly, like Bucky’s an idiot, “It needs to stop. I haven’t gotten any super-soldier lovin’ in far too long.”

 

Bucky raises an eyebrow. “I dunno what you’re talking about, Wilson, but you an’ Stevie have only been together for a couple weeks now, right? Why would you have gone further than necking?”

 

Sam snorts. “Necking, right. I can barely keep Steve’s hands off me on a good day, but recently, it seems like even JARVIS is conspiring against us having any alone time.” He walks up to Bucky and pokes him in the chest. “I have not had sex in nearly 3 months, Barnes. I was looking forward to Steve breaking that streak. I understand that Steve added a few weeks to the inevitable start of you and Clint. Is that really a reason to stop me from getting what I so desperately need?” 

 

Bucky looks down at Sam’s finger, still touching his chest, and looks back up at Sam who has the good sense to remove his finger. “I’m sorry you and Steve haven’t been able to get some time together,” Bucky says slowly, “But me and Clint have had nothing to do with that.”

 

Sam throws up his hands in despair. “Would you admit it if you did?” Bucky says nothing. “That’s what I thought.” He scoffs and walks out of the apartment, muttering to himself lowly.

 

Bucky waits until he can no longer hear his footsteps and then snorts to himself. “We’re probably going to have to end this soon, J,” He says regretfully.

 

“I can’t help but agree, Sergeant Barnes.” JARVIS sounds almost sad. “Agent Barton and Captain Rogers have just entered the building. Would you like me to tell Agent Barton where you are?” 

 

“Yeah, sure,” Bucky waves his hand and flops back onto the couch, going back to his upside down position. He zones out for a few minutes, coming back to himself when someone tweaks his nipple. “Fuck!” He flails and falls off the couch.

 

Clint bursts into laughter, doubling over at the sight of Bucky ass-up on the ground. “That was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time,” he says through his laughter.

 

Bucky turns red. “Yeah, yeah, laugh at the torture victim,” He grumbles, pouting.

 

“You can’t play that card with me, babe, I’ve seen you after therapy.” Clint wags his finger at Bucky, mock-disappointed. Bucky reaches for his hand and pulls Clint onto his lap, nuzzling into his neck. 

 

“We’re probably going to have to bring this thing to an end soon, sweetheart,” He says regretfully.

 

“Aw, no,” Clint whines, “But it’s so much fun!”

 

“I know, but Sam confronted me about it today, and we both know that means it’s only a matter of time until Steve knows too.” Clint lets his head fall onto Bucky’s shoulder. “We probably have enough time for one more thing, something that’ll make it obvious that we were screwing with them this whole time.”

 

“What to do, what to do…” Clint muses. 

 

“Nothing too mean,” Bucky assures him, “Just something that’ll leave a lasting impact.”

 

“We could recreate something he did to us,” Clint suggests.

 

“I don’t want to permanently ruin his relationship with Wilson though,” Bucky says, “I do want the punk to be happy.”

 

Clint coos, “Aw, you lerv him!” He pinches Bucky’s cheeks and squishes them together. 

 

“Shaddap, you dork,” Bucky says, turning pink. “Course I love him. Love you too, though.” Clint grins widely, unable to hold it in. 

 

Clint’s grin changes from sappy to wicked in a heartbeat. “We could get Sam in on it. Have him be all flirty and rile Steve up a bit, and then one of us could come in and pull him away. That could work plenty. Plus, bright side for Sam - I bet Steve is an animal when he’s horny.”

 

“Think about Steve being horny often, do you?” Bucky growls, rolling over and pinning Clint’s arms above his head. 

 

“All the time,” Clint lies, “One of my favourite thoughts to think.” Bucky bites his nipple through his shirt, relishing in Clint’s yelp.

 

“Well, we can’t have that now, can we?” Bucky says. He grabs the blindfold they keep under the couch cushions, wraps it around Clint’s wrists and raises Clint’s arms above his head. “Those move, and I stop,” He warns, releasing Clint’s hands and smiling when they don’t move an inch. Clint is totally silent, mouth hanging open.

 

Bucky loves how he can do or say something simple and Clint will be raring to go in seconds. He methodically works his way down Clint’s chest, tweaking his nipples and leaving bite marks and hickies everywhere. He gets to his groin and noses around over Clint’s pants, bypassing his cock completely and just gently nibbling at Clint’s thigh muscles. 

 

Clint’s whines and gasped moans are getting to Bucky quicker than he thought they would. He sucks his way back up to Clint’s crotch and mouths at the sizeable bulge straining at Clint’s pants. “Aw, c’mon Bucky, stop teasing!” Clint cries, bucking his hips. Bucky grins - and then unzips Clint’s fly with his teeth. Clint sucks in a breath and when Bucky looks up at him, his eyes are nearly black with desire and he’s biting his bottom lip. 

 

Bucky grins and blows some air over the wet spot on Clint’s briefs - which, by the way, are sinfully tight and outline  _ everything _ \- smirking when Clint’s cock visibly twitches. Bucky knows Clint likes to be edged sometimes, and it looks like this is going to be one of those times. 

 

“Bucky, if you don’t put your mouth on me right now, I’m gonna -  _ fuck _ !” Clint breaks off with a shout as Bucky swallows his cock down to the root, staying there for a few seconds before withdrawing to breathe.

 

“You were saying?” He raises an eyebrow at Clint’s wordless whine and then swallows him again. Clint jerks up into his mouth, making him gag. Bucky puts his metal arm on top of Clint’s hips and holds him still.

 

“Bucky, I’m gonna -  _ no please _ !” Clint screams as Bucky wraps his fingers around the base of Clint’s cock and squeezes. He doesn’t stop his throat movements and Clint whines and bucks his hips again. 

 

Their apartment is filled with the sounds of Bucky sucking Clint’s dick and Clint moaning and screaming when Bucky brings him to the brink of orgasm and pulls him back again.  _ Five times _ .

 

By the time they reach the sixth approaching orgasm, Clint is begging him. “ _ BuckyBuckyBucky please _ ,” Clint babbles, eyes screwed shut and hips squirming under Bucky’s grip. Bucky grins the best he can around Clint’s dick - he loves it when Clint falls apart. “ _ Please baby I can’t do it anymore please _ !” Clint howls, and Bucky takes pity on the poor man. He pulls off of Clint’s dick and Clint whimpers.

 

“Shush, sweetheart,” Bucky says absently, fiddling with the bottle cap. It flips open with a click and a shiver runs through Clint’s body. Bucky applies a liberal amount to his fingers and traces around Clint’s rim.

 

“Bucky,” Clint whimpers. Bucky shushes him again and gently presses a fingertip forward. “ _ Fuck me _ ,” Clint hisses through his teeth.

 

“Trying to, sweetheart,” Bucky grins, adding another finger. He pumps them in and out, careful to avoid Clint’s prostate on each pass. He adds a third finger when Clint is writhing around, moaning. 

 

Then he takes a deep breath and swallows Clint down, releasing his grip on the base of Clint’s cock and jabbing his fingers directly onto Clint’s prostate simultaneously.

 

Clint  _ screams _ . His back arches and his eyes roll back, jets of come shooting directly down Bucky’s throat. It lasts for what feels like forever, and Bucky’s lungs are straining by the time Clint slumps back onto the couch. Bucky pulls off and takes a huge breath, wiping off his mouth and pulling his fingers out of Clint’s ass.

 

“Holy. Motherfucking. Shit.” Clint stares at the ceiling, an awed look on his face. He reaches down and pulls Bucky on top of him. “We need to do that more often.” Bucky absent-mindedly notices that Clint did indeed keep his hands where Bucky put them the whole time.

 

Bucky grins and nuzzles into Clint’s neck, making him jump by tweaking his nipple. “I certainly like seeing you like that.”

 

“Do you need anything?” Clint asks, hands wandering towards Bucky’s ass. 

 

Bucky shakes his head. “I’m good,” He mutters, the tips of his ears turning pink. 

 

Clint stares at him and his eyes widen. “Holy shit, Bucky, did you -” Bucky claps a hand over his mouth and nods, blushing furiously. “That is so fucking hot,” Clint breathes after he yanks Bucky’s hand off his mouth. 

 

Bucky raises his eyebrow. “Really?” He scoffs. “Me coming in my pants like some horny teenager does it for you?” Clint nods and pulls him into a blistering kiss. When they pull apart, both of them are breathing hard and Bucky’s dick gives a half-hearted twitch, interested in the proceedings. “Perv,” He says teasingly, shoving at Clint’s shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry,” Clint says pretentiously, “Who just had my dick down their throat and their fingers up my ass?” Bucky grins.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sweetheart,” He drawls, burying his head into Clint’s chest to hide his smile.

 

“Sure you don’t,” Clint says, tracing nonsensical patterns on Bucky’s back. They sit in a comfortable silence for a while, broken only by the sound of their breathing. “So we gonna get Sam in on it?” 

 

Bucky groans theatrically. “Fine,” He says, rolling off the couch, “But you’re the one asking him.” 

 

Bucky ducks into the bathroom, hearing Clint’s groan of “Aw, Bucky, no,” and grinning. That’ll be fun to watch. 

 

~~~~~~

 

**Sam**

Sam’s eyebrow ticks up on his forehead. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. You want me to do what?” Sam crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes at the two men standing in front of him. 

 

“Further put off the best sex you’ll probably ever have to help us screw with Steve,” Clint says factually. 

 

Sam’s eyebrow is super interested in meeting his hairline. “And why in the fresh hell would I do that?” 

 

Bucky grins. “Because when you finally do have sex, if it’s anything like what I did to Clint the first time we had sex, you won’t be able to get out of bed for four days.”

 

Sam’s mouth drops open and his gaze flicks to Clint who just nods with a dreamy smile on his face. “Best week of my life,” He says, sighing.

 

“First of all,” Sam says, turning and walking into his kitchen, “Way too much information, guys.” He yanks a couple water-bottles out of his fridge and throws them over his shoulder. “Secondly, why would I help you when I can just get sex from Steve whenever I want?”

 

“Because there’s sex with a supersoldier,” Clint says, eyes wide, “And then there’s sex with a  _ sex-deprived, horny as fuck super-soldier. _ ” 

 

Sam rubs his forehead and grumbles, “I can’t believe I’m considering this. What would I have to do?”

 

Clint whoops and Bucky grins. “Just rile him up a lot and not let him get any release. We can cockblock you guys or have someone else do it, if you want. Basically, just tease the shit out of Steve.”

 

Sam sighs and throws his hands up. “Fine, I’ll do it. But there has to be a time limit, and some other limits.” Clint and Bucky nods, listening intently. “Number one, we do not, under  _ any circumstances _ , tell Tony about this. That includes you, JARVIS.” 

 

“I assure you, I would never betray your confidence,” The AI says, sounding offended.

 

“I know, I’m just clarifying pal,” Sam says, smiling slightly. “Number two, you cannot come into mine or Steve’s apartment. I give you my word that we won’t have sex until the time limit is up, but those are our private spaces.” 

 

“Can we bang on the door?” Clint asks, grinning.

 

Sam sighs and doesn’t give that an answer. “Number three, you will be required to third wheel sometimes if we want this to work.”

 

Bucky and Clint nod, and then Clint’s eyes light up. “Oh, oh! Can we get in a fight?” 

 

“What do you mean?” Bucky asks cautiously.

 

“Like, if we get into a ‘fight’, then we can third-wheel separately and it’ll be extra awkward because Steve won’t want to hurt our feelings by being all coupley with Sam!” Clint grins, bouncing on his seat.

 

Bucky grins. “And since Stevie’s my best pal, he’s not gonna begrudge me spending some time with him. Or Sam, for that matter. Not if I say I can’t be around Clint because of ‘feelings’.” Sam nearly chokes on his own spit at the sight of the infamous Winter Soldier doing air quotes.

 

He composes himself and says, “Okay, rules down. What’s the time limit?”

 

“Two weeks?” Clint offers. 

 

Bucky shakes his head. “Nah, Stevie’s not dumb, he’d figure out something was up.” He taps his chin. “How ‘bout a week? Long enough to get Steve real riled up, short enough that he won’t notice what’s going on.” Clint and Sam nod. Bucky claps his hands. “Great! So one week of Sammy-boy here teasing the shit out Steve and me and Clint making it worse by never letting you two be alone. No going into Sam or Steve’s private spaces - and yes, that includes banging on the door, Clint. You get to bang on their door once. It’ll start when Clint shows up at your door crying, but no sex before then, either.” The three of them snicker.

 

Sam grins, suddenly excited. “I think this is going to be interesting.”

 

~~~~~~

 

It’s a couple days later and Sam is eating dinner with Steve in his apartment, slightly distracted by the heat of Steve’s thigh against his own. He focuses on shovelling food into his mouth and wills his half-chub to _go_ _away dammit_ , and as a result, he nearly falls out of his chair when Steve puts a hand on his thigh. 

 

“You alright, Sam?” Steve asks, the rumble of his voice doing  _ things _ to Sam’s insides. 

 

“Yeah, fine,” Sam says this one hundred percent normally and  _ does not squeak thank you very much _ .

 

Steve grins slyly. “You sure? You don’t seem alright.” His eyes dart down to Sam’s lips and back up again. Sam mentally crosses himself. 

 

“Just a little -  _ shit _ !” Sam grunts as Steve picks him up and holds him against the wall, the pressure of his thigh against Sam’s crotch not helping his chub situation.

 

“Anything I can do to help… relax you?” Steve says, the asshole.

 

Sam grins, relaxing into Steve’s grip. “Well, now that you mention it…” He runs his nails over Steve’s scalp and Steve’s eyes flutter shut, a soft moan escaping his mouth. Sam does it again, gasping when Steve pushes his thigh firmly into Sam’s cock.

 

“Fu- _ uck _ ,” Sam cries, grinding down desperately. Steve grins into his neck and pins his arms above his head. Sam moans loudly, trying furiously to gain access to Steve’s neck. He can feel Steve growing harder against his thigh, but Steve does nothing to get any relief. 

 

And then there’s a timid  _ knock knock knock _ on the door. They ignore it and continue. It happens again and Sam groans, stopping his grinding. “We should get that,” He says, pulling his arms out of Steve’s grip. Steve looks like a sad puppy. Sam smirks and kisses him on the cheek, taking a few deep breaths and pulling the door open. 

 

“Hey man, what’s - shit, Clint, are you okay?” Clint stands in front of their door, wrapped in a blanket with tears streaming down his face. Sam ushers him inside and shuts the door behind him. 

 

“Me an’ Bucky got into a fight,” Clint sobs, slumping onto their couch.

 

Steve comes over and wraps Clint into his arms, making him cry harder. “Do you wanna tell us what about?” He asks gently, making worried eye contact with Sam over Clint’s shoulder.

 

“We were just laying in bed talking and then I think I said something and Bucky just started crying and I didn’t know what to do and he said it was my fault and he started yelling at me and then I left and came here!” Clint howls, a fresh wave of tears falling.

 

“I’m going to kill that man,” Sam decides, standing up. 

 

“No!” Clint yells, grabbing his sleeve. “Maybe just rough him up a little?” He gives Sam a weak smile and goes back to burying his face in Steve’s chest and sobbing. 

 

Sam storms out of the apartment and up to Clint and Bucky’s apartment, banging on the door. Bucky answers, looking miserable. Sam shoves him aside and walks into the apartment, fuming. The door shuts behind him and Sam’s attitude immediately changes. “Man, Clint is really good at that, it’s kind of disturbing.” He says thoughtfully. Then he turns around and sees Bucky’s face. “Hey man, what’s up?”

 

“I hate seeing Clint cry,” Bucky says gruffly, scrubbing at his face, “Even if it’s fake. Makes me feel like I just burned down a house full of puppies.” 

 

Sam yanks him into a hug, ignoring his feeble attempts to get away. “Yeah, tell me about it. I was coming up here to punch you for real before I remembered.” Bucky laughs wetly.

 

“I was kinda hoping you’d come up here. Told Clint to shove himself onto Steve once he got there.” Bucky pulls away and rubs his eyes. “You want some coffee or something?” He heads into the kitchen.

 

Sam shrugs. “Water wouldn’t hurt.” He follows Bucky and sits down at one of the stools. “Aw, fuck,” He complains, face scrunching.

 

“What?” Bucky asks.

 

“I’m gonna have to punch something,” Sam says, flexing his fist. “Told Clint I’d rough you up a little bit.”

 

Bucky shrugs. “Wouldn’t be any evidence on me, knock-off serum, remember?”

 

Sam curses. “Can I hit you anyway?” He suggests, laughing when Bucky throws a wet towel at him. They snipe at each other for a little while longer until Sam heads back downstairs. When he reaches his apartment, he takes a breath and summons his angry face. He storms inside, letting the door bang against the wall. “Stupid stubborn super-soldiers,” He grumbles. 

 

“Try saying that ten times fast,” Clint chirps weakly from the couch. He’s wrapped in two extra blankets and holding hot chocolate. 

 

“Make Steve do it,” Sam whines, throwing himself down beside Clint. “He’s the super-soldier.”

 

“Fair,” Clint agrees. “Steve, you do it.” Steve, sitting on the couch across from them, raises his eyebrows. And then, of course, he does it perfectly. Clint stares at him when he finishes, then turns to Sam. “You were right. Stupid super-soldiers.” Steve bursts into laughter.

 

The three of them eventually put on a movie and when Clint falls asleep on the couch, Sam and Steve head to the kitchen. Steve jerks his head towards Clint. “You think he’ll be okay?”

 

Sam shrugs. “Bucky is one of the most important things in the world to him. Having that torn away can’t be easy. All we can do is give them some time and be supportive.”

 

Steve scowls. “I’ll start being supportive once I kick Bucky’s ass tomorrow.” 

 

Sam grins and pulls him into a kiss. “There’s my little ball of fire.” Steve nips at his lip and Sam sucks back a moan, pulling away. “Not while we have company Steven,” He scolds. “I think we should let Clint stay here until him and Bucky makeup.”

 

Steve groans. “Do we have to?” He whines.

 

Sam glares at him. “Steven Grant Rogers, stop thinking with your little head and start thinking with your big one. That is your friend asleep on the couch over there, and you will show some compassion.” Steve ducks his head, ashamed. Sam shakes his head fondly. “C’mon, you dork.” He pulls Steve into their bedroom, closing the door with a soft  _ click _ . “Let’s go to bed.”

 

~~~~~~

 

Sam regrets this. He regrets this  _ so hard _ . He hasn’t been able to get any release for four days and it’s driving him  _ insane _ . He can only imagine what it’s doing to Steve. Sure, he puts on a good front whenever Clint’s around, but as soon as Clint is out of the apartment - hell, out of the  _ room _ \- Steve is on top of Sam like glitter on glue. And Clint, of course, manages to pick the perfect time to come back into the room and ‘accidentally interrupt them’.

 

And  _ goddamn,  _ can that man make a guilty face. Of course, he winks at Sam whenever Steve’s back is turned, but Sam can tell that being away from Bucky is wearing on him. He’s been quiet this last day, and Sam thinks that it’s time for him and Bucky to ‘makeup’. So he says that.

 

“I don’t know, Sam,” Clint says, “He hasn’t exactly made himself accessible to me lately.” He’s not wrong. Every time Clint so much as walks into a room that Bucky’s in, Bucky bolts out of there like his ass is on fire. Sam’s pretty sure that Bucky’s just leaving so that Clint doesn’t see how bad he looks and calls the whole thing off, but he knows that Bucky will deny that until he dies.

 

“I’m sure you just need to talk to him, Clint,” Steve says, “I can ask him to talk and when he gets here, it’ll just be you if you want.”

 

Clint shakes his head. “That won’t go over well, you know how he feels about manipulation.”

 

Steve nods thoughtfully, and then his eyes light up. “What if I pick him up and bring him here and then lock the two of you in a closet? Tony’s reinforced the one in the hallway so he can put me on ‘time-out’ when he thinks I’m being pissy.”

 

Sam barely manages to hold back his snort as he turns away. He catches Clint’s eye as he turns and that makes him burst into laughter. Clint doubles over and laughs so hard he can’t breathe, which of course only makes Sam laugh harder.

 

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Steve says dryly, crossing his arms, “Captain America on time-out,  _ hilarious _ .”

 

Clint turns to Sam, still giggling. With a straight face, he says, “Pouty Face of Injustice.” Sam screeches and falls over, laughing so hard he isn’t making any noise anymore. He lays there clapping like a seal until Steve has enough and picks him up to put him back on the couch.

 

Eventually the two of them stop laughing. “That would probably work, Steve,” Clint says thoughtfully. “But you gotta stay outside the closest the whole time because Bucky can hit really hard when he’s mad, and no offence, but his arm is kinda stronger than you a little bit? So he could probably break the door even though it’s reinforced?”

 

Steve gasps in mock outrage. “How dare you say that, Clint? I am hurt, offended,  _ upset _ even.”

 

Clint snorts. “Yeah, yeah, sure you are. You gonna do it or not?” Steve agrees and the three of them start planning how it’s gonna go.

 

~~~~~~

 

**Clint**

All in all, it takes two more days before Sam comes running down the hallway, grabs Clint and shoves him into a closet. “Steve’s bringing Bucky, now stay!”

 

And Clint knew going in that this was probably a bad idea. But when Bucky is deposited in a heap in front of him, with a simple, “Talk and I’ll let you out,” from Steve before he slams the door, he knows that it is  _ definitely _ a bad idea. 

 

“What the fuck Clint, did you really have to drag Stevie and Wilson into this?” Bucky grumbles as he pulls himself up.

 

Clint would worry that he’s actually mad, but then Bucky looks at him and winks. “Well, gee,  _ James _ , I would’ve loved to talk about this like regular adults but you wouldn’t even stay in the same room as me! What the hell was I supposed to do?” And  _ oh _ , there’s some anger Clint didn’t know he had.

 

Bucky blinks in shock, clearly sensing that Clint isn’t playing a part. He turns to the door and says, “Steve, Wilson, it’s time for you to go.”

 

No one responds from outside the door so Clint tries. “Guys, it’s okay. I know what I said but I’d actually really rather you didn’t hear this.”

 

More silence, and then, “This is none of our business anyways, Steve. C’mon.” An audible struggle sounds from the hallway, eventually ending when Sam hisses, “Steve, I swear to the Lord if you don’t come with me  _ right this goddamn second _ , this three-week dry-spell of yours will last three  _ months _ !” 

 

Clint hears Steve choking and then footsteps pound away down the hallway. Sam’s faint shouts of ‘ _ put me down you animal _ ’ make Bucky and Clint snicker. The noises fade away and Bucky turns to face Clint, who suddenly finds the corner above the door  _ extremely _ interesting.

 

“Sweetheart, are we okay?” Bucky asks cautiously.

 

Clint opens his mouth to say that they’re fine, but his brain has other ideas. “No, we’re not okay! I wasn’t expecting a total blackout on communications, Buck! We agreed that we would try to sneak in as much time together as possible because we knew this would suck! But then suddenly, whenever I walk into a room that you’re in, you bolt out of there like I’m the carrier of some contagious disease or something! I thought we were partners, Bucky.” Clint’s voice breaks as he holds back tears, and he turns away, wrapping his arms around himself.

 

“Sweetheart, no, I’m sorry!” Bucky says, pulling Clint into a hug. “It wasn’t what I wanted at all to make you feel like that! I just thought it would be easier if we didn’t see each other because I didn’t want to clue Steve in on what we were doing. Didn’t you get my note that I left for you?

 

Clint sniffles. “You left me a note?”

 

“Yeah, course I did, sweetheart. I left it taped to Stevie and Wilson’s door the day after we had our ‘fight’.” Bucky says, running his fingers through Clint’s hair.

 

“There wasn’t a note when I got back to their apartment. Plus Steve was already home and he didn’t mention anything.” Clint freezes and slowly looks up at Bucky. “What specifically did your note say?”

 

Bucky blinks. “Something like, ‘we shouldn’t see each other for a while, don’t forget to not tell Steve about what happened’?” 

 

Clint snorts. “Well, obviously Steve found the note when he came back to his apartment, read it, and tossed it, probably thinking that you were being an idiot.”

 

“But why would he -” Bucky says, bewildered.

 

“Think about how your note would sound to someone who didn’t know what we were doing, Bucky,” Clint says. Bucky thinks for a minute, then his eyes widen and he curses loudly. “Yeah, exactly,” Clint says dryly.

 

“Motherfucker,” Bucky says thoughtfully, “Probably should have given that to you in person, huh?”

 

“Probably, yes,” Clint agrees. The two of them sway back and forth in silence for a while, just happy to be back in the other’s arms. 

 

~~~~~~

 

**Bucky**

Bucky would be happy to stay in Clint’s arms forever, but then Clint shifts and brushes against his groin. A bolt of heat shoots up Bucky’s spine, and he stifles a groan. But Clint knows him and his body too well.

 

“I feel like we should probably make up for lost time,” Bucky says quickly, shoving down another moan when Clint pulls their hips together.

 

“Agreed. Can you make it back to the bedroom, Sergeant Barnes?” Bucky’s dick twitches at his words and  _ holy shit _ , there’s a kink Bucky didn’t know he had. 

 

“I damn well better,” Bucky swears. He winds up and slams his metal fist into the door with a  _ bang _ , sending it flying across the hallway and hitting the other side. Bucky slings Clint across his shoulders and books it out of the little closet, full-out sprinting up the stairs until he reaches their apartment. 

 

“Gosh, impatient much?” Clint snarks, squeaking when Bucky tosses him down on the bed and stares at him hungrily from the doorway.

 

“Sweetheart,” Bucky says lowly, “I haven’t had a satisfying orgasm since that blowjob I gave you a week ago.”

 

Clint grins. “Oh, you mean the one where you came in your - mmph!” Bucky leaps onto the bed and slaps his hand over Clint’s mouth, eyes narrowing.

 

“Yes, Clint,  _ that _ one. And I’ll bet you haven’t had a good one since then, either.” Clint squirms and Bucky is suddenly  _ very  _ aware of both his and Clint’s pants situation. As in, they’re far too tight. Bucky uncovers Clint’s mouth and leans down to kiss him. At the first touch of Clint’s lips on his, he lets out an embarrassing moan and pushes his clothed dick over Clint’s enjoying the spark of friction he gets from it.

 

“ _ James Buchanan Barnes, if you do not get your dick out right this goddamn second I will kill you _ !” Clint says desperately, fingers scrabbling at Bucky’s pants. Normally, Bucky would tease him a little, but he’s too desperate right now. He shoves his hand in between them and manages to pull Clint’s cock out of his pants right when Clint pulls his out. 

 

They hiss at the feeling of cool air on their lengths, and Clint removes a hand to grab some lube. He puts probably way too much on his hand, then puts it back in between them and gathers both their dicks in his hand. Bucky groans and his head slumps onto Clint’s shoulder, hips making aborted little jerks. Clint moves his hand up and down, twisting  _ just right _ and Bucky swallows his groan, kissing him like he’s deprived. Because he has been, thank you very much.

 

A stream of endearments falls from his lips, mostly just Bucky telling Clint how much he loves him and how much he’s missed him over this past week. Clint says the exact same things, his free hand running up and down Bucky’s back as his other hand speeds up. 

 

Nearly simultaneously, they stiffen up and shout each other’s names into the air, slumping onto the bed when they come down from their orgasm. 

 

“Holy fuck,” Clint pants, “That was…”

 

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees, rolling away to get a towel. “Let’s never repeat this week, okay? It’s not worth it.” He tosses the dirty towel into the laundry hamper and pulls on a pair of boxers and a sweatshirt, handing Clint another set of boxers as well.

 

Clint agrees wholeheartedly, and rolls over, snuggling into Bucky’s chest. “Sleep now?” Bucky wraps Clint in his arms tightly and presses a kiss to his head. 

 

“Sleep now, sweetheart.” Clint quickly starts to snore, hands fisted in Bucky’s sweatshirt. Bucky blinks back the tears that want to fall, taking deep breaths. “Hey, J?”

 

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes.”

 

“Could you tell Stevie and Wilson that me ‘n’ Clint are okay now? And thank them for me, would ya?”

 

“Of course, Sergeant Barnes.”

  
  
“Oh, and tell Sam that the week isn’t up yet,” Bucky smirks, picturing the look on Wilson’s face and having to hold in a bark of laughter.

 

“Certainly,” JARVIS says, “And may I say, Sergeant Barnes, it is good to see you and Agent Barton back together.”

 

Bucky smiles softly at the sleeping archer in his arms. “It’s good to be back, J.” He tightens his grip on Clint and closes his eyes, succumbing to sleep in moments.

 

~~~~~~

 

A pounding on the door wakes Bucky up and he groans. “J, tell whoever it is to fuck right the fuck off and come back never.” The pounding ceases momentarily and Bucky relaxes, only to growl in annoyance when it starts up again, louder this time. He extricates himself from Clint’s octopus-like grip and storms to the door in nothing but his boxers. He yanks the door open and growls, “What.”

 

“I see you and Clint made up,” Steve says, arms crossed. 

 

“This couldn’t have waited a few hours, Steve? What the hell time is it anyway?” Bucky growls, rubbing his eyes.

 

“It’s 7:30, Buck! You should’ve been awake hours ago!” Steve says, throwing his hands up and trying to force his way past Bucky.

 

Bucky shoves him back, hard enough that Steve hits the opposite wall, and points a finger at him threateningly. “Listen here, Rogers, and listen good. I have just spent a week apart from the man I am going to marry one day and I plan to spend at least that long apologizing for starting this fucking thing in the first place. So if you know what’s good for you, and I pray that you do, you won’t step foot on this floor for at least that amount of time. We clear?” Without waiting for a response, he slams the door and marches back to bed, only stopping to give JARVIS instructions to not let anyone onto their floor until they say otherwise. With that done, Bucky climbs back into bed and wraps himself around Clint, tension leaking from his shoulders as soon as Clint noses his head under Bucky’s chin. 

 

“You tell ‘em, Sarge,” Clint mumbles, then he starts to snore again.

 

~~~~~~

 

The next week is spent doing exactly what Bucky told Steve he was going to do. By the end of the week, both Bucky and Clint are having trouble walking and sitting down, so they agree to take a couple more days off to recover from their week-long marathon sex session.

 

~~~~~~

 

The first time they emerge from their floor, they walk into the kitchen only for Tony to start playing some song about the morning after sex. “And here they are, folks, the Tower’s resident nymphomaniacs! So tell us, gentlemen, how was it?”

 

Clint snorts and plops down on a stool. “Well, you shouldn’t be calling us  _ gentle _ men, that’s for sure.” 

 

The kitchen goes silent and then everyone - everyone being Tony, Pepper, Natasha, Steve and Sam - burst into laughter, cheering and clapping. “Atta boy, Barton!” Tony says, patting Clint on the shoulder. Clint sucks in a breath and pulls down the neckline of his hoodie to reveal a pretty deep bite mark that, if someone were to take a mold of it, would match Bucky’s teeth. 

 

“Atta boy, Barnes!” Tony crows, tossing a bagel at him. Bucky catches it in one hand and does a bow, catching Clint’s eye on his way back up and winking. He walks over to Clint and kisses him on the cheek, relishing the way Clint’s cheeks go pink.

 

“You should see some of the marks I have,” Bucky smirks, “I’d show you, but they’re not exactly in a place I can show in polite company.” 

 

“I’m not polite company, “ Tony says, scandalized. 

 

“I was talking about Pepper,” Bucky says, inclining his head to her. “Ms. Potts.”

 

“Sergeant Barnes,” she returns, eyes twinkling. Bucky takes a bite out of his bagel in the ensuing silence and just enjoys the warmth of Clint in his arms. 

 

“You’re twitchy this morning, Capsicle, everything alright?” Tony asks Steve, who is looking rather wound up.

 

“Fine, Tony.” Steve bites out. 

 

Bucky and Clint snort. “He’s not fine, he hasn’t had sex in a couple weeks. ‘S why he’s twitchy,” Bucky says offhandedly, taking another bite of his bagel. Steve’s head whips towards them and he narrows his eyes. 

 

“Barnes…” Sam warns.

 

“Oh yeah,” Clint says, sitting up straight. “The whole reason you haven’t had sex in so long is because me and Bucky roped Sam into keeping you riled up and horny because you cockblocked us so bad at the start of our relationship. Also, Sam wanted horny super-soldier sex.”

 

Sam’s head hits the countertop with a  _ bang _ . No one speaks. Steve’s mouth gapes open like a fish and when he moves to get up, Bucky raises a finger. “Nuh uh, Steven, you’ve got options here. You can a) take lover-boy there and go have a marathon sex session of your own, or b) try and catch me and Clint to get your revenge for our revenge. Choice is yours.” Bucky eats the last of his bagel calmly.

 

To his credit, Steve seems to think about it for approximately two seconds before he gets out of his chair, strides over to Sam and pulls him over his shoulders, and practically runs out of the kitchen. 

 

“Well played Buckster, well-played,” Tony says, tipping an imaginary hat at him. Bucky nods and grabs another bagel. Clint snorts and pours himself some cereal.

 

~~~~~~

 

Six days later, Sam resurfaces in the kitchen. There are hickies  _ everywhere _ on him; trailing under his shirt and peeking out in the strip of skin between the line of his shirt and his shorts… “Not a word, Barnes, not. A. Word.” Sam says. Bucky is almost tempted to say something when Sam  _ limps past him and out of the kitchen _ , but he doesn’t. Clint would be proud of him, Bucky thinks. 

 

With that, Bucky goes to find Clint to try and make  _ him _ limp. This was fun, Bucky decides, but he never wants to be apart from Clint for that long,  _ ever again _ .

 

He thinks Clint would agree. 

 

He hopes Clint would agree, otherwise the ring he bought is going to make things  _ really _ fuckin’ awkward.

**Author's Note:**

> So....... How was it? Let me know what y'all thought!
> 
> As always, follow me on the tumbles ! I post updates, sneak peeks, and more!


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